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Are people resentful of those who get cosmetic surgery?


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Hi everyone :) Hope you are all well. I haven't logged on lately because I have had some issues in my personal life, but I thought now was as good a time as any because I thought you guys might be able to help.

 

I recently have had a breast augmentation, as well as some fillers in my cheeks and lips.

 

I have been very happy with the results, and I think they have made me look sooooo much better. However, I have had a few female friends call me ugly and tell me that my procedures have only made me look worse and not better. When I look in the mirror I am really happy now, so I am not sure why they think I look so hideous!

 

Are there some girls (and even guys) who are resentful of people who undergo such procedures? ie. some people think that if someone is only pretty due to a cosmetic procedure, that it somehow "doesn't count"?

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It probably varies from person to person. Some people view changing your face with surgery as being unnatural & therefore wrong. They may view it as a weakness of character that you felt you needed to upgrade your looks & in life it's the weakest person who gets picked on. They may be jealous if you suddenly started looking better (& they may view using surgery to do it as cheating). Maybe in their eyes you really do look worse- & I'm not saying they're right! It's hard to say for sure. I think boob jobs & nose jobs are fairly well accepted these days, but other cosmetic surgeries still have a stigma. People's normal reaction to things they aren't comfortable with is to ridicule or reject them. As long as you're happy with the results- feck 'em & their pettiness!

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I think some people are resentful yep. But then those are probably the same people who are resentful of the friend who gets a new car, or new furniture, a new house or a great boyfriend! Some people can't be happy for other peoples good fortune and I think it must be because they are jealous and want whatever it is for themselves, but in my opinion these sorts of people aren't worth keeping as friends!

If one of my friends gets something they have been wanting or saving up for I feel happy and excited for them so I just don't get why some people are so nasty!

But the world is full of all kinds of people and we need to make good choices about who we want to be a part of our lives I guess :-)

One of my friends has lovely big boobies and leading up to my BA she was the friend I talked to about it, showed her all my dream boob pics, discussed placement etc, etc, coz my hubby had no idea and was sick of hearing about it.

It was this friend who picked me up after I'd had my BA and as soon as she saw me she wanted to see them, she seemed as excited as I was.

But now she has lost weight and her boobs have lost a lot of their fulness and firmness (so she tells me) and she doesn't like her boobs anymore. And now she has zero interest in how mine are healing, settling, looking etc she doesn't want to hear a word about it. Which is ok with me but I think it's a little weird! It's almost like she's jealous of my new boobs now that she doesn't like her own anymore.

So I just don't mention them at all now.

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I think some people are just ignorant of cosmetic surgery and procedures and have these preconceptions about the type of people that have these procedures.

 

To be honest, I think generally BA's are pretty accepted these days but I have had a lot of criticism from people when i mention getting work done on my face. Im getting a rhinoplasty later on this year but like my BA i just won't tell anyone because when i have mentioned it in the past its like im crazy.

I have also had fillers in my lips and botox and i just think people think your going to end up looking like michael jackson or something which is just not the case. 

 

At the end of the day, as long as you are happy with your results then to hell with what anyone else thinks. They don't really sound like very supportive friends. What ever happened to the saying, if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all

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I used to think that ageing should be natural until I hit 40! Now Im fully open to everything, what ever makes you happy :). What I have noticed is that anything I do, I do it for me, not for the opposite sex. This reason is good enough for me.

 

Ive had few fillers on my face, and don't regret it, it makes your face look a bit smoother not fake, and no one noticed it in the first place. If I talk to other friends of mine who are at my age, some are against it (could be envy, money problems or just don't like it). I don't tell anyone what I do because its all for myself anyway.

 

As long as you don't over do it, and you are happy, that all it matters :)

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It may also have something to do with the fact that you're 24 years old. You'd still have a face plump with collagen and no wrinkles to speak of at 24. Most people- myself included- typically view cosmetic procedures of that nature more acceptable when you get to "a certain age" and need to cheat a little to stay fresh. To be honest, if I was 24 and my friend was injecting things into her face- regardless of how it made her look, I'd probably tell her she didn't need it. In fact I know I would because I'd be worried about the long term effects on her face, as well as them having a low self image. I'm not judging you so I hope it's not coming across that way, it's just that I think the younger a person is when they start readjusting their face, the less acceptable people seem to find it. I don't think they're being bad friends or are jealous, they're probably saying it out of genuine worry for you and your self image. Maybe they said the word "ugly" to shock you into stopping. If it's giving you the results you want and you are happy with it then thank them for their concern and feedback and do whatever the feck you want anyway. Girls can be very judgemental over even minor things. I stopped wearing skirts and dresses around that age and swapped to jeans because the girls I hung around with at the time all wore jeans. They resented me not wearing jeans- sounds so ridiculous now but I caved to peer pressure. In hindsight I would've ignored them. They were jealous and I let it get to me. 

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Your friends are idiots! I'm an injector and have clients of all ages and plenty your age who get Botox and fillers. So long as you don't go overboard (and believe me it costs A LOT to go overboard) then enjoy it. I couldn't live without mind, I'm 32 in a few weeks and look better then I did 10 years ago.

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Hun uR friend sounds like a total b**** cut her out of uR life! U don't need jealous bit*** in uR life!

I have a small circle of friends and altho some might not personally accept the idea for themselves of getting surgery they have all been very supportive they are my rock!

If uR friend can't accept you or support u for uR own decisions and to go to the extent of calling u ugly to uR face. She is a worthless nasty piece of work and u should delete her out of uR life. The least she could do is not say anything at all if she has nothing nice to say.

She sounds like she is jealous and possibly threatened by uR looks. Ppl like that are not worth uR time

I'm all for enhancements as long as u do it for urself and no one else :) and good on u for doing it xx

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I agree with the other girls hun, they don't sound like true friends at all. What kind of friend would ridicule someone they care about. Someone  who is jealous and obviously not happy with themselves.

Personally I don't see surgery as cheating or an easy way out when it is to fix something that you cannot change yourself. I had one of the mums at my school try suggest that I would be cheating if I had a tummy tuck. I believe that absolute BS. I workout everyday and I work my ass off!! I eat healthy and I am not one who ever sits and does nothing, but no matter what I do and how hard I work that wont get rid of stretchmarks, no oils or creams will fix them, This woman is just jealous! The same woman started a rumour about another mum at school saying she had work done on her face and just looks ugly. I know for a fact its not true, but because she had her boobs done and is stunning ( and I mean stunning, gotta say she is the most beautiful girl I know and if u saw her you would agree...lucky ***** hahah)  But the other woman is jealous so tries to run her down anyway she can, to make herself feel better. Ppl like that aren't worth your time hun, they will never be happy for you because they aren't happy with themselves.

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Oh my god!

I think your friend is jealous... In the past few weeks, I have found out who my 'true' friends are

Despite me planning my surgery for 2 years I have had different reactions from different ppl but one in particular completely tore into me regarding my choices and everything about me really... I know I am a good person and I treat others the way I want to be treated so I have come to the conclusion that it must be jealousy as there is no other reason for this kind of behaviour from others...

I bet you look gorgeous and you feel good about yourself so don't let anyone take that from you, or make you feel anything other than beautiful!

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I agree with the other girls hun, they don't sound like true friends at all. What kind of friend would ridicule someone they care about. Someone  who is jealous and obviously not happy with themselves.

Personally I don't see surgery as cheating or an easy way out when it is to fix something that you cannot change yourself. I had one of the mums at my school try suggest that I would be cheating if I had a tummy tuck. I believe that absolute BS. I workout everyday and I work my ass off!! I eat healthy and I am not one who ever sits and does nothing, but no matter what I do and how hard I work that wont get rid of stretchmarks, no oils or creams will fix them, This woman is just jealous! The same woman started a rumour about another mum at school saying she had work done on her face and just looks ugly. I know for a fact its not true, but because she had her boobs done and is stunning ( and I mean stunning, gotta say she is the most beautiful girl I know and if u saw her you would agree...lucky ***** hahah)  But the other woman is jealous so tries to run her down anyway she can, to make herself feel better. Ppl like that aren't worth your time hun, they will never be happy for you because they aren't happy with themselves.

Can't believe the woman told you a TT is cheating- big pffffft to that one! Nothing but surgery can fix loose, wobbly skin or the accursed stretch marks. I had a one of my high school students who had a sister in the primary school tell me about all the mums at the primary school and how they'd ALL had botox and were into anything that helped them maintain the "yummy mummy" image. I've come to realise as I get older that everyone who can afford it "cheats". It's just that not everybody let's on about it. As for the woman who gets run down- she should take it as a compliment. If someone is jealous of you it means you have something that they want!

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Toatally agree with you Juniper. Jealousy is an ugly ugly thing isn't it. I tell friend who had work done im jealous but I never meant it in a bad way I was so happy for them and wished I could have it done too, never would I dream of putting them down for it. Personally I don't understand why ppl like this do it cant they just be happy for others? ***** when I found out a mum I didn't even really know at school was having her tummy done ( was said in a small group in general chat)  I was thrilled for her and ended up going straight over to her house to help her clean and organise her house ready for the op ( most ppl down there know im OCD haha and I couldn't stand that she only had a week till her op and hadn't done a single thing lol) I had an absolute field day there lol but I loved that she felt good that her house was ready for her to come home to and recover in peace after her op,

I think that when someone has something good come their way we should support and be happy for others ESPECIALLY if its something we wish we could have ourselves. I believe in karma and it always comes around. Maybe that's why girls like all of us on this forum are on our journey to change things we aren't happy with and these jealous nasty pieces of work are still sitting there bitching about everyone lol

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I think they are probably jealous. I can say l used to bag people with fake breasts (not people l knew) my husband reminded me about it the other day.  :(  I feel bad about it now and know that l envied people with such great boobs and hid it by bagging them when l was probably just jealous of their great assets. Now that l am going through it myself l know l will be judged, but l will also understand because l have been on the judging side if that makes sense. Your friends should not make you feel like s**& they should support you no matter what. x

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Maybe it's not jealousy but them projecting their self esteem issues onto you. Either way, you got surgery for yourself, you are happy with the results and to hell with anyone else's bitchy comments.

My ex wife got wind of me having surgery and has made some bitchy and nasty comments but I actually find them amusing 'cause I know they stem from an anger and insecurity.

Hopefully you have more supportive friends, happy for you doing something for yourself.

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Maybe it's not jealousy but them projecting their self esteem issues onto you. Either way, you got surgery for yourself, you are happy with the results and to hell with anyone else's bitchy comments.

My ex wife got wind of me having surgery and has made some bitchy and nasty comments but I actually find them amusing 'cause I know they stem from an anger and insecurity.

Hopefully you have more supportive friends, happy for you doing something for yourself.

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It's a real shame when you undergo such a major change for YOURSELF that has caused years of heartbreak and insecurity, you're finally happy with yourself but there will always be one or more people who have to have their two cents.

 

I had my BA 4 years ago when my bestie had left to move to the UK and she came back home suddenly because the long distance thing wasn't working with her boyfriend.
During the time she was away, her friends were moving on with their lives, back to uni, new job, travelling etc but because they physically couldnt be there for her at the drop of a hat when she wanted, everyone was a bad person in her books. ESPECIALLY ME!

 

My boobs are very natural and I am now in propotion with my hips and booty. She sent me the most awful worded FB msg tearing me to absolute shreds in every possible way because I started doing well in my modelling competitions and got into Miss Universe, doing the things I felt I was finally able to do and wasn't able to before.

I have never let the physical change 'go to my head', it has only given me the confidence I had always lacked. She'd say "you're only doing well because you got fake tits", real nice! I'm not going to deny that it's probably is a major factor into the 'sudden success' but you are judged on even proportions and again, I had a new found confidence I was always insecure about.

 

However she wanted laser treatment to remove stretch marks, her labia fixed and other things. She has always been very insecure.

I have not spoken to her again since this day, you only need people in your life who will build you up and not bring you down.

 

And anyway, more people have Boobjobs these days than they do bellyrings haha!

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I bet your look great! The only opinion that matters is your own,

I would take advice from the injector because they are trained do this for a living and have experience, I would take advice from the surgeon because they have the advantage of experience. It's up to you to take it or leave it.

When a so called friend chimes in with harsh and poorly delivered commentary they are not thinking about your looks or welfare, their motives are based on how they feel about themselves.

Everyone's aesthetic or idea of beauty is different, some people still wear scrunchies and love them.

Some think Ugg boots are never to be worn outdoors. What you like is what makes you an individual.

As many people you ask is as many and varied opinions you will get.

If your happy with it, and your friends are making remarks that hurt and leave you feeling down, find friends whom support you without the Bitchy judgement.

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  • 1 month later...

IMO, it's my body - my insecurities. Got nothing to do with anyone else. If I go through with having rhinoplasty, then I'm just going to come out straight out and tell people (if they ask). I have no shame, because they don't understand how I feel when I know someone is looking at me from my side profile. You have your reasons for whatever cosmetic procedure you have done, you and only you. Stuff everyone else.

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I haven't read all the replies but you need new friends. Friends don't call each other ugly or other nasty things ever! Even if they think you do look it and as long as you're happy that's all that matters they definitely shouldn't have said it. Some people are resentful to answer your question and others don't understand it. Still you don't call friends ugly.

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