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LizzieVale

Considering either a Mini Lift/Face Lift

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I've made up my mind and I going for it.

Life is too short to sit around thinking, wishing and hoping for life to change.  The only way things will change if is i take steps to make changes.

I'm a 53 (54 in feb) year old woman and after 20 years stuck in a mostly unhappy marriage my ex left me for another woman.  The past 12 months have been the most deviestating period of my life and it certainly shows on my face.  I look more like 60 than 53.  My self confidence has sunk to rock bottom.

I had initally considered surgery after i turned 50 but felt guilty about spending so much money on something that the time I had considered "trivial".   Now I realize there's nothing trivial about wanting to look and feel the best you possibly can.  The irony of it all is that i had scrimped and saved $20,000 of my own money for my surgery only to have my ex squandered it all.

Today I'm 4 years older together with a combination of gravity taking hold and the grief, stress, worry, little or no sleep and not looking after myself as i should have I look more like a woman of 60.

Ive made up my mind that I'm finally going to do something for myself.    I've put aside $20,000 from my settlement and every cent of that money is going towards creating a better version of myself.  I don't have any unrealistic illusions of looking twenty years younger. That's downright insane.    I'd be happy if I could look 10 years younger.

And as for family and friends if they don't support or accept me unconditionally, with or without surgery they are not worth having in my life. 

xxx

 

 

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So proud of you girl, you go for it!!!!   I think EVERYBODY is entitled to look their best if that's what they want

Following shellymee's journey has given me also a lot more confidence to go ahead but need to get my boobs sorted out first.

Would you mind keeping us informed?   Who first of all,  are you going to consult, do you live in Qld?

take care, this is the start of a wonderful journey for you !

 

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Thanks for your encouragement and support girls.   Means a lot to me  x. 

I'm from Adelaide and have recently met up with a member from this forum who has kindly shared his own personal journey into the world of cosmetic surgery with me.   I've got the names of a couple of surgeons who might be worth considering and equally as importantly the surgeons to avoid at all costs.

Shellymee certainly has been an absolute inspiration to me also.  I'm soooo excited at the mere thought of looking somewhat "pretty" again.  Never ever thought it would be a possibility for me.

I'll definitely keep you all posted of my progress every step of the way.

xx

 

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Hmmm.... as much as my sister claims to support my wish for surgery, after today im not quite so sure.

Usually we're very close but today there was a sense of distance and awkwardness  between us.   Maybe I'm just misinterpreting or overthinking things.  Perhaps the combination of my anxiety/excitement about my surgery translated into my acting differently

A couple of times when i tried bringing up the subject of surgery i was met with a blank and disinterested look.

When she did manage to say anything it was words to the effect of "what your not having it done now!!!!.   No darling sister Im not an utter and complete moron for crying out loud.  I didnt say that but i sure as hell was thinking it lol.   No,  i still have to have at least a couple of consults etc.  Like I'm stupid enough to go under the knife in a moment of impulse!.  I suspect that she thinks that im having my 5 mins. of wishful thinking and will eventually loose interest and drop the idea.

Well that aint going to happen.  I told her that im NOT having surgery immediately however I definitely AM having surgery after I've spoken a few surgeons, informed myself of what to expect, costs, what the surgery entails, recovery time, chances of possible risks, if its likely to make a meaningful difference to my appearance.... etc. etc. .....

Has anyone else experienced a similar reaction from family and friends?

 

 

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I told family after surgery, some reactions were distant and a little "oh, you didd't need it" and what a waste of money. 

I don't care what they think and even they said how natural and good I looked an that was 5 days after the procedure!

So glad for you ... yay!!

Take lots of recovery time .. look at 4 weeks ... If you fly stay in the city as long as you possibly can.. I think altitude can increase swelling and fluid build up.. I was ok but wonder if the swelling would of been less if I had stayed put longer. I did fly lots though!!

And do not doubt yourself!!!

Prep now by getting healthy and eating right .. 

I will send you my photos very soon just need to take a couple of me now ☺☺☺

So happy and glad for you ☺☺

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Thanks Shellymee,  yes the reaction i received today left me feeling rather disheartened.  An afternoon which normally would have been fun and pleasant ended up being hostile with me trying to justify my every action.  

This afternoon I just couldn't say or do anything right.  I felt as though i was constantly being judged.  Well Im tired of trying to please people.  No matter what you do people with judge you anyway, so to hell with them.    I'll do whats right for me for a change.

I'll stay true to whats in my heart and make my little dream come true :)  

Damn I cant wait to see your pics girl!!!!  Your the one who really got me inspired about the surgery..  After hearing about how happy you are now after your surgery that really got me thinking seriously about myself.   Of course I always wanted surgery but kept finding excuses and put in on the back burner.  But not now!!!  Now Im on a mission to look good and feel good!

I owe you and couple of other great people on this forum for giving me the inspiration and the kick in the pants that i needed to do this, lol :p   (((((hugs)))) 

xxx    

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Regarding my surgery I still haven't booked a date and time, but I'm determined to go through with it if I can genuinely afford it.  The main thing which is prolonging my decision is weighing up if I can DEFINITELY afford it. You see the money I do have has to see me through to my retirement.  From my calculations yes I should be ok, but with the government constantly changing pension laws etc who knows?  Either way thanks to my greedy ex husband I wont be able to afford to purchase my own home.

If I'm extremely lucky I may be able to buy into a retirement village, have to look into the details extremely carefully as the rules and cost from one retirement village vary quite vastly.  In any case I cant buy into one until I reach the ripe old decrepit age of 57.

Most of my finances are tied up in Super which means I cant access it till I reach the age of 57.  I'll be 54 next month.  I'm quite happy for my money to remain in my super fund as I have enough money to survive on, including the money required for the surgery at call.

So basically once the three years are up I have to see where I stand.  Can I afford to perhaps buy into a retirement village, if not I have no choice but to rent. 

My finances are the main reason why I haven't booked the surgery as yet.  I'm a worrier by nature and keep thinking "what if I cant really afford the surgery".  Have I neglected to take into consideration some other major expense that I will be faced with?   

If I didn't have to consider the financial side of things I would have booked my surgery yesterday!  I really want it!  And I refuse to listen to well meaning family and friends who sway me against having it done.  I'm the one who has to live my life, not them.  They are quite secure in their lives and content to lead there own lives surrounded by their own spouses and children.  I don't have that and never will.   The only person I have is myself and I want to be the best version of myself possible.  I'm sick of looking down when walking down the street because I look so old.  I know it sounds stupid, but that's the way I feel. 

As I mentioned in my previous posts I don't expect to look 21 again.  Hell I just want to look like a better version of myself.  Why do my family and female friends consider this to be such a crime and try talking me out of it?  The few male friends I have are nowhere as judgemental regarding my having surgery as long as I'm able to afford it.

Anyway just need to have vent.  Everything seems to be getting to me lately.  I feel as though my life is in limbo and I'm waiting for something to happen.  I don't know what I'm waiting for?   A miracle perhaps lol . 

Thanks for listening to my ramblings xxxx

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Hi Lizzy,

I don't know if you're still visiting the forum or not, but just have to say I think you should go for it if that's what it will take for you to regain your confidence and feel great about yourself.  I know money worries can keep us stuck in a rut and I'm sort of in the same situation as you are, worried that Im spending my hard earned money on surgery when it should probably go towards the mortgage (or a holiday to Italy).  BUT I figure that the self confidence and all what comes from being happy with your appearance and such like is worth every cent.  If you feel good about yourself, it shines through and I believe this makes good things happen to you.

Have you looked at other alternatives such as perhaps surgery in Thailand?  I'm going through Restored Beauty Getaways and have friends who have had surgery in Thailand for a fraction of the cost but equal if not better results and experience as Australian surgeons. 

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Thanks  DeepBlueSea70,  

I still definitely want the surgery,  but it always comes down to the financial side of things.  Ive been quoted $20,000 for a full face lift.  If i knew that if i could afford it i would have had it done it yesterday 

Feel so sad snd powerless to do any thing about my situation unless i m able to come up with thr 20K.  

Ive never consider going overseas fot the surgery  ip until now. Does anyone have an experienced they wish to share with me ?

Judt feel so old and even worse i look old.   My confidence and self esteem has hit rock bottom 

 

 

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Ive just had my breast surgery done in Thailand and very happy with everything so far.

I do worry that if something goes wrong once im back home it wont be as easy to deal with as if I had an Australian surgeon but ill cross that bridge if i come to it.

I honestly can't fault a single thing about it so far. My Dr is very professional and i have absolute faith in his work. He showed me photos of previous patients and explained exactly what he would be doing, listened to my concerns and was very easy to ask questions of.

If you were to consider surgery overseas i would suggest perhaps first talking to a cosmedical tour company if you dont feel confident in dealing with the hospital directly. They are very helpful and when i saw the company ive used they showed some awesome photos of facelifts done in Thailand. You can see pics on their website too.

Also have you thought about getting counseling for your self esteem? You've been through a traumatic event and maybe just talking to someone will make you feel better about how you feel about yourself.  I know it helped me tremendously in the past during times I felt bad about myself.

 

 

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Just a quick update.  I'm still wanting the surgery.  Each and every time i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror i just want to cry and it just reinforces the fact that I'm so unhappy about the way i look.  I project a women with low or no self esteem with no confidence to go out and live her life.  My appearance holds me back from doing all the things that i want to do in life.  I'm sick and tired of hating myself.  The person i see in the mirror is the woman that my ex turned me into.....old, tired and worn out.  All the pain and suffering I been through because of him is deeply entrenched on my face.  So conseqently  each time i look in the mirror im reminded of him! 

Deep in my heart I have decided a million times over that I want the surgery.  Im not going to live the rest of my life feeling and looking like crap because of him.  I've taken up Pilates in order to tone and strengthen my body as I have back issues.

Which brings me to the topic of exercise.  How long would i need to wait until after the surgery to get back into my Pilates ???

I been doing my Pilates 2x per week for a couple of months now and am starting to see results.   I feel better and much stronger and fitter.    Thank you xx

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It sounds like you have thought about this surgery for a long time. You also don't sound like a fool either. I think go for it! Life is too short and I think you would regret not having the surgery if you decide to leave going ahead with it. Family and friends have not gone through the devastation in your life so they will probably find it hard to relate to your decision re plastic surgery. But they are not living your life - you are! I had my BA done nearly 18 months ago when I was 39. I researched and looked into surgery for 6 years before making my decision. I have no regrets about going down the surgery track. As my husband and I say, you can't take money with you when you are dead. Yes we are both very careful with money. But we also realise that some things are more important than sitting on a lump of money and not living life. xx

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LizzieVale, I've been following your story so far.  I understand. I too was in a marriage with all the same traits as you describe.  It strips you of everything - personality, self-esteem, confidence, money and yes... looks.

I also get your concerns about money and not knowing how long it needs to last you for, what the future holds etc. If you are completely on your own then yes, for sure you need to think very carefully about this.  Do you work and if so, do you intend to work for many more years?

Can I suggest that if your family are not supportive and make you feel anything less than 100 percent comfortable about your plans that you just don't talk to them about it anymore.  If they bring it up with you just brush it aside and don't get drawn into it, that way you're not giving them the chance they're looking for to have another go at you and try to sway you. If you go ahead and do it without telling them and they ***** about it you can simply say that you chose not to tell them because they didn't support you.

Do you have any close friends or people who would be there for you and take care of you after surgery or would you be completely alone in your recovery?

These are all things that you've probably already thought of.

I'm really supportive of  having the surgery and get how it will make you feel better about yourself.  In my experience I've had surgeries for the same reasons but when I was going through a traumatic time following my marriage break- up I personally found that I had to work on the inside as well as the outside otherwise, even though the outside looked better, I was still damaged and in pain on the inside.  So the surgery alone helped, but didn't fix the way I was feeling.

I'm now 57 so older than you and when I look in the mirror I see an ageing, saggy face.  I'm just starting the journey down the facelift road so am very interested in yours and ShelleyMee's  journeys.  It's a biggie!

Please know that you have support and no judgement here  xxx

 

 

 

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I've had my mini facelift and it's the best decision I ever made. I totally recommend sedgh plastic surgery for this. I made sure that I only go to the best plastic surgeon and Dr. Sedgh didn't let me down. You may read more here if you have additional questions on how my journey went, please please don't hesitate to contact me. 

Edited by Bimbs

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