Long post: very anxious about upcoming BA, not sure whether to go ahead or cancel

[MissS]

Hi girls, is it normal to feel anxious and full of fears and doubts about the decision to get a BA, or did most of you feel 100% sure about it? I am booked in for next month but I'm not sure if I'll go through with it. My breasts are deflated from breastfeeding, and I would love for them to look better.  However, I have so much anxiety about it and I don't know whether that is just something I should push through, or whether it means that this isn't right for me. 

My fear is that I could hate what they look like because I'm so used to my petite figure, and I'm also scared of complications, and breast implant illness (which I know is not proven). 

How did you girls know for sure that you would like breast implants?  Or did you go into it with doubts and fears like me?  I really can't tell if this is nerves and fear in the lead up to surgery, or if this means that I will hate having implants.  I am scared that I'll hate them and they'll look terrible on me and I'll regret it! 

Here is how I'm thinking about the decision:

Option A: stick with what I have now.  I'm a deflated 10B.  In clothes, with a push-up bra, I look fine.  People are always telling me that I have a great figure (because I'm slim and fit).  I'm size 4-6, short, hourglass shape, former ballerina and I have one of those very "tiny" bodies with a small skeleton.  Also, I'm a 35 year old mum and am not out clubbing or anything... I go to school, the shops etc and I definitely don't "need" better boobs, I look fine with clothes on.  However, in the nude I have these sad empty droopy boobs and they have affected my body image and sense of identity and sexuality, and intimacy.  I've tried for 6 years to accept them and like them but I just don't.

Option B: get them done.  My hope would be to have small, but full breasts.  However because I am pigeon-chested and have loose skin from breastfeeding, the surgeon has said I need to go bigger than I want.  I'm scared that this will ruin my small figure and make me look fat and dumpy, especially because I'm short with a short waist.   I'm also scared I would be more self-conscious of fake boobs than I am of my current empty boobs... it's an unknown.  I have been super anxious about all the risks of complications and breast implant illness plus the knowledge that in future I will need replacements etc and it all gets very expensive.

So... I booked in because I have been researching this and talking to my husband about it for 6 years and a couple of months ago I rationally thought that I'm not happy with my boobs now, so I should try the implants, I only live once, etc.  However as you can tell even though I am booked in, I'm still not 100% on the decision.  But maybe I will never be?  And I don't know if all these fears are just normal fears and nerves and anxieties in the lead-up to surgery, or if this means that I'm not sure enough to go ahead.

I don't want to cancel then keep thinking about this for another 6 years, I either want to do it, or decide not to do it and then never think about this again!  

[sabP]

Hey @MissS - pre-surgery nerves and anxiety are quite normal. But from what I'm reading in your post, you are having serious second thoughts and that is quite different. Is there anyone you can talk with apart from your husband? Someone who can offer objective advice on your decision making process?

Personally I wanted boobs my entire life, but that's because I was completely flat chested (12AA) and could never find a bra that fit and swimwear made me self-conscious and some clothes never looked right. I finally decided to go ahead in December 2017 after doing my due diligence into all the pros and cons and finding a top plastic surgeon. Once I talked my options through with him, my mind was set and I never wavered. I did not have any pre-surgery jitters (although I know some girls do). I am also extremely happy still with my decision to go ahead and with the outcomes of my surgery.

In the end, no-one can make this decision for you and yes it is a big decision and in some ways life altering. Given your level of anxiety you may experience regrets, but it is really hard to say as I don't know you. I'm sorry I can't be of better help in your decision, but like I said earlier, talk to someone objective. And good luck with your decision, whichever way you decide xo

 

[Watergirl]

7 hours ago, MissS said:

Hi girls, is it normal to feel anxious and full of fears and doubts about the decision to get a BA, or did most of you feel 100% sure about it? I am booked in for next month but I'm not sure if I'll go through with it. My breasts are deflated from breastfeeding, and I would love for them to look better.  However, I have so much anxiety about it and I don't know whether that is just something I should push through, or whether it means that this isn't right for me. 

My fear is that I could hate what they look like because I'm so used to my petite figure, and I'm also scared of complications, and breast implant illness (which I know is not proven). 

How did you girls know for sure that you would like breast implants?  Or did you go into it with doubts and fears like me?  I really can't tell if this is nerves and fear in the lead up to surgery, or if this means that I will hate having implants.  I am scared that I'll hate them and they'll look terrible on me and I'll regret it! 

Here is how I'm thinking about the decision:

Option A: stick with what I have now.  I'm a deflated 10B.  In clothes, with a push-up bra, I look fine.  People are always telling me that I have a great figure (because I'm slim and fit).  I'm size 4-6, short, hourglass shape, former ballerina and I have one of those very "tiny" bodies with a small skeleton.  Also, I'm a 35 year old mum and am not out clubbing or anything... I go to school, the shops etc and I definitely don't "need" better boobs, I look fine with clothes on.  However, in the nude I have these sad empty droopy boobs and they have affected my body image and sense of identity and sexuality, and intimacy.  I've tried for 6 years to accept them and like them but I just don't.

Option B: get them done.  My hope would be to have small, but full breasts.  However because I am pigeon-chested and have loose skin from breastfeeding, the surgeon has said I need to go bigger than I want.  I'm scared that this will ruin my small figure and make me look fat and dumpy, especially because I'm short with a short waist.   I'm also scared I would be more self-conscious of fake boobs than I am of my current empty boobs... it's an unknown.  I have been super anxious about all the risks of complications and breast implant illness plus the knowledge that in future I will need replacements etc and it all gets very expensive.

So... I booked in because I have been researching this and talking to my husband about it for 6 years and a couple of months ago I rationally thought that I'm not happy with my boobs now, so I should try the implants, I only live once, etc.  However as you can tell even though I am booked in, I'm still not 100% on the decision.  But maybe I will never be?  And I don't know if all these fears are just normal fears and nerves and anxieties in the lead-up to surgery, or if this means that I'm not sure enough to go ahead.

I don't want to cancel then keep thinking about this for another 6 years, I either want to do it, or decide not to do it and then never think about this again!  

I have just booked in for an explant after having a revision 2 months ago due to movement. I first got implants last May. It's not worth it. I've been feeling tingling all through my body and light headed and I cant think properly. I wish I had looked further into breast implant illness before I went ahead. It is so wrong that surgeons don't tell you the risks. They tell you silicone is inert, but they dont tell you it is heavy metals that make the silicone cohesive and that when they remove peoples implants after less than 10 years they are seeping. People have silicone in their lymph nodes. Please join a bii facebook group and see how many people have similar symptoms and how most are resolved after implant removal. This was an almost $30K mistake for me!! I hope I can save someone else from it. I was the same as you, unhappy with my small empty breasts after breastfeeding. 

[I HaveBoobs]

Hi i agree with @sabP is there someone you can talk to who will have an unbiased opinion,  i too had wanted boobs since my early 20s as wasn't blessed in that department then after breastfeeding 2 children they were like two deflated water baloons. 

There is risk with any surgery weather it be for cosmetic or reconstructive,  to joint replacement ect,  i did years of research and consulted with many surgeons and even though i had wanted this for years it didn't Chang the fact that i was scared,  nervous and did the whole what the hell am i doing thing , but the final decision has to be yours no one can make that for you, however with the fact that you have some pretty strong feelings of doubt you could ask to postpone your surgery for a coupleof months until you have the chance to talk it through with someone,  sorry i couldn't be of more help,  and i wish you luck with what ever you decide.  

[pink butterfly]

I had the exact same feelings as you prior to surgery and I also had researched having a BA for many years. But after breastfeeding 3 kids and having 10AA cup boobs on a skinny body, I felt like crap. In the end, I made the decision to go ahead and so at the age of 39, I got implants. I went for a natural look with teardrops under the muscle and am now a 10C cup. I have had my implants for nearly 5 years, and I have absolutely no regrets. Life is too short to feel like crap. Plus my kids have a happy and confident Mum. x

[MissS]

Thanks so much for helping me everyone.  I did actually go to see a psychologist about this.  She said that she thinks I want this, but am fearful about it and that is just fear and anxiety.  However, as you all say, I know that no one can make this decision for me or know what I want, whether it be the health professionals or you lovely ladies on this forum!  If someone could wave a magic wand and fix my breasts tomorrow I would 100% do it.  It's the implants that I'm not 100% sure about... because of all the risks and lifelong expense.  For a whole year I looked into breast fat grafting and even considered going to the US to get it done but I'm very skinny and every surgeon said I just don't have enough fat, so for me the only way to make my breasts look better is implants. It's implants or nothing.   

It is so helpful to get your perspectives though because you made the decision and went and got the implants, whereas none of my friends or my psychologist have been through that.

It does sound like all of you were more sure than me that you wanted it done.  Argh.  I have been thinking about this for sooo many years and done so much research and consulted six surgeons.  I just don't want to keep umming and ahhing about this until I'm 50, wondering do I want it, should I get it done, would it look good, is it worth it etc.  It's a horrible state to be in!  I just want to make the decision and be done with it!  I oscillate so much.  One minute I think yes they'll be great I'll be fine, 5 minutes later I think no it's not worth it I just can't do it.

I am supposed to see the surgeon for my pre-op appointment early, 3 weeks before surgery.  I could pull out after that appointment.  Do you think I should cancel now if I'm not sure, or go through with that appointment?  

I should have waited until I was 100% sure before booking surgery, but I was just so sick of thinking about it and I thought just do it to put an end to this indecision! Now I feel under more pressure.  But maybe the pressure is good because I can't go on wondering about it forever, I need a time limit on this decision. 

 

[sabP]

It is tough for you and vacillating back and forth is clearly driving you nuts! (I say that in a nice way :) ) I'm glad to hear you spoke with a psychologist. If you are still not 100% sure then maybe cancel and wait some more. I'm sorry I did have to laugh at your comment about being 50 and still umming and ahhing. I had mine done at 59 - even though I wanted them from my early 20s... There were many factors over the years that stopped me. Initially implants were kind of ugly and only very rich people could afford them. Then the time just didn't seem right for various reasons, I also felt a bit embarrassed thinking people would think I was unnecessarily vain or stupid for wanting nice boobs. But when I was in a place financially and emotionally and quite frankly, did not give a f*** what anyone else thought, I just went right ahead and got them. I am so glad I did, I have not one moment of regret. I love them and I feel so much better about my body, like this is what it should have been like all along. I am super fit and healthy.

You can friend request us if you want to see our gallery pics and then you can see progress from pre to post surgery and how they change and evolve over the weeks and months. :) 

[pink butterfly]

My question to myself when I was so scared and unsure was "If I get to the end of my life, would I have regrets about not getting my boobs done?". I then knew the answer. Everything in life is scary...…...particularly having kids...…..getting married...…..driving in the car every day. You have done your research, you have seen 6 surgeons and you have obviously been really sensible gaining all the information you need in order to make the best decision for your body. As you said, no one can make this decision for you. Maybe you just need more time and that's okay too. For me, I got sick of feeling like sh!t and that in the end outweighed the fear.

[JenJen]

On 5/20/2019 at 3:21 PM, MissS said:

Hi girls, is it normal to feel anxious and full of fears and doubts about the decision to get a BA, or did most of you feel 100% sure about it? I am booked in for next month but I'm not sure if I'll go through with it. My breasts are deflated from breastfeeding, and I would love for them to look better.  However, I have so much anxiety about it and I don't know whether that is just something I should push through, or whether it means that this isn't right for me. 

My fear is that I could hate what they look like because I'm so used to my petite figure, and I'm also scared of complications, and breast implant illness (which I know is not proven). 

How did you girls know for sure that you would like breast implants?  Or did you go into it with doubts and fears like me?  I really can't tell if this is nerves and fear in the lead up to surgery, or if this means that I will hate having implants.  I am scared that I'll hate them and they'll look terrible on me and I'll regret it! 

Here is how I'm thinking about the decision:

Option A: stick with what I have now.  I'm a deflated 10B.  In clothes, with a push-up bra, I look fine.  People are always telling me that I have a great figure (because I'm slim and fit).  I'm size 4-6, short, hourglass shape, former ballerina and I have one of those very "tiny" bodies with a small skeleton.  Also, I'm a 35 year old mum and am not out clubbing or anything... I go to school, the shops etc and I definitely don't "need" better boobs, I look fine with clothes on.  However, in the nude I have these sad empty droopy boobs and they have affected my body image and sense of identity and sexuality, and intimacy.  I've tried for 6 years to accept them and like them but I just don't.

Option B: get them done.  My hope would be to have small, but full breasts.  However because I am pigeon-chested and have loose skin from breastfeeding, the surgeon has said I need to go bigger than I want.  I'm scared that this will ruin my small figure and make me look fat and dumpy, especially because I'm short with a short waist.   I'm also scared I would be more self-conscious of fake boobs than I am of my current empty boobs... it's an unknown.  I have been super anxious about all the risks of complications and breast implant illness plus the knowledge that in future I will need replacements etc and it all gets very expensive.

So... I booked in because I have been researching this and talking to my husband about it for 6 years and a couple of months ago I rationally thought that I'm not happy with my boobs now, so I should try the implants, I only live once, etc.  However as you can tell even though I am booked in, I'm still not 100% on the decision.  But maybe I will never be?  And I don't know if all these fears are just normal fears and nerves and anxieties in the lead-up to surgery, or if this means that I'm not sure enough to go ahead.

I don't want to cancel then keep thinking about this for another 6 years, I either want to do it, or decide not to do it and then never think about this again!  

(This post is my personal experience and everyone has the right to their opinions and informed choices).

 

I am looking at it explanting ASAP due to BII, rupture and discomfort.

I was a thin ribby, pigeon-chested, deflated 10B after breastfeeding 3 so I can totally relate.

The implants did and still do look amazing. But I am so, SO sick. Full of inflammation and neurological problems, unbelievable fatigue and a list of symptoms as long as my arm. It was not worth it; the money I don’t mind so much, the loss of quality of life is priceless. Can not wait to get these things out and to try to heal my body.

I don’t want to scare you. I am sure many women have implants with no/little complications, but this is my experience.

Good luck with your decision xx

[MissS]

Sorry to hear what you're going through Jen!  Thank you for sharing this with me.

[Stemschicky]

On 5/20/2019 at 1:21 PM, MissS said:

Hi girls, is it normal to feel anxious and full of fears and doubts about the decision to get a BA, or did most of you feel 100% sure about it? I am booked in for next month but I'm not sure if I'll go through with it. My breasts are deflated from breastfeeding, and I would love for them to look better.  However, I have so much anxiety about it and I don't know whether that is just something I should push through, or whether it means that this isn't right for me. 

My fear is that I could hate what they look like because I'm so used to my petite figure, and I'm also scared of complications, and breast implant illness (which I know is not proven). 

How did you girls know for sure that you would like breast implants?  Or did you go into it with doubts and fears like me?  I really can't tell if this is nerves and fear in the lead up to surgery, or if this means that I will hate having implants.  I am scared that I'll hate them and they'll look terrible on me and I'll regret it! 

Here is how I'm thinking about the decision:

Option A: stick with what I have now.  I'm a deflated 10B.  In clothes, with a push-up bra, I look fine.  People are always telling me that I have a great figure (because I'm slim and fit).  I'm size 4-6, short, hourglass shape, former ballerina and I have one of those very "tiny" bodies with a small skeleton.  Also, I'm a 35 year old mum and am not out clubbing or anything... I go to school, the shops etc and I definitely don't "need" better boobs, I look fine with clothes on.  However, in the nude I have these sad empty droopy boobs and they have affected my body image and sense of identity and sexuality, and intimacy.  I've tried for 6 years to accept them and like them but I just don't.

Option B: get them done.  My hope would be to have small, but full breasts.  However because I am pigeon-chested and have loose skin from breastfeeding, the surgeon has said I need to go bigger than I want.  I'm scared that this will ruin my small figure and make me look fat and dumpy, especially because I'm short with a short waist.   I'm also scared I would be more self-conscious of fake boobs than I am of my current empty boobs... it's an unknown.  I have been super anxious about all the risks of complications and breast implant illness plus the knowledge that in future I will need replacements etc and it all gets very expensive.

So... I booked in because I have been researching this and talking to my husband about it for 6 years and a couple of months ago I rationally thought that I'm not happy with my boobs now, so I should try the implants, I only live once, etc.  However as you can tell even though I am booked in, I'm still not 100% on the decision.  But maybe I will never be?  And I don't know if all these fears are just normal fears and nerves and anxieties in the lead-up to surgery, or if this means that I'm not sure enough to go ahead.

I don't want to cancel then keep thinking about this for another 6 years, I either want to do it, or decide not to do it and then never think about this again!  

I just want to play devils advocate here. I made the choice to get implants, and I love having boobs. But unfortunately I’m one of the ones where something has gone wrong and I need a revision (I had my op Dec 2017) and I knew within a couple of months I would have to get them fixed. Make sure you go with a surgeon who guarantees their work and will fix if anything goes wrong at minimal cost to you, otherwise you could be paying 2-3 times what you initially thought you would be. I have to make another appointment with my PS to discuss revision soon. This will also mean More time off work after another operation, so lost income on top of everything else as I am self employed. And Medicare and Private Health no longer cover any cosmetic procedures. 

[Watergirl]

Stemschicky - I had to get a revision after 10 months due to movement. It was straight after this revision that I started getting symptoms of Breast Implant Illness. This seems to be common when the implant is removed and the capsule surrounding it is disturbed and left inside of you. If you do want to get them replaced at least make sure they also remove the capsule to reduce the chance of illness. I'm getting mine out in 3 weeks and wont be replacing. Three surgeries in 1 year and never got to enjoy having boobs!