Jump to content

Recommended Posts

ok im fairly new on here.. and i need help!! i went for a consultation a few weeks ago for liposuction & walked out considering a tummy tuck instead. I have 3 daughters & the 3rd was 11 oz 3 ounces!! im only 159 cm's tall so she really destroyed my muscles and i also have a hernia, so the dr recommended i get a tummy tuck. anyway, im feeling really guilty about wanting to do this.. i keep thinking, imagine if something happens during surgery and my kids are left with no mummy just because of my own vanity :-( does anyone know any statistics on really bad things happening during surgery? are you other mummies feeling like this before surgery? some days i'm thinking i shouldn't even bother with it and should just be happy i have 3 beautiful daughters. but then at the same time i'm only 29 and i want a nice stomach again.. my stomach is all i think about :-( also, my 30th is in april, would you do it before then or should i wait until after so i can feel fine for my birthday?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi staceymjm,

Can't say I've thought of dying during surgery! I know it's a risk but I'm pretty sure it's a small one - particularly if having surgery in Australia. However I've always had the attitude of 'if your times up.... its up!'

Have you thought that maybe your just not ready for surgery yet? I'm a mum and of course being around for my child means everything to me but looking at my body makes me absolutely miserable! I have considered surgery for quite a few years but never made it a priority until now. i made my decision to have surgery after losing quite a bit of weight and i was tired of being really embarrassed about my body to the point where it was affecting my life. i know surgery is definitely something i want to do. My daughter is 12 and I'm 32 and I really feel that it's time for me to put myself first for once, it probably sounds selfish but sometimes I think you have to do what's right for you. I want to do it now while I'm still young and can enjoy my body and what's left of my younger years feeling fabulous. If your not quite sure about - definitely don't do it. You will know if its right for you.

Hope that helps somewhat! My surgery is in two weeks if you want any further information about the procedure feel free to MSG me, I will upload some photos soon too both pre and post.

Best of luck with your decision.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi staceymjm

I had those same feelings, was soo worried, hubby made me do a list of all our accounts and passwords everything so that I would know that everything would be taken care. Looking back now I think I was so silly, but we are allowed to have our fears as well. I think it is just the way society has made us women become paranoid, we dont look good (magazines) but when we try to then we are vain etc etc. I'm 40 now, so I waited a long time, also thinking of the kids, and I need to do things for them first and typical mom put everything on the back burner and led countless years of misery thinking how bad I look. I should have done it ages ago, I am sure I would have been a much happier person - more contented in myself. Hubby is amazed by the different person I have become, more self assured.

So go for it, and enjoy it!!

Link to post
Share on other sites

ok im fairly new on here.. and i need help!! i went for a consultation a few weeks ago for liposuction & walked out considering a tummy tuck instead. I have 3 daughters & the 3rd was 11 oz 3 ounces!! im only 159 cm's tall so she really destroyed my muscles and i also have a hernia, so the dr recommended i get a tummy tuck. anyway, im feeling really guilty about wanting to do this.. i keep thinking, imagine if something happens during surgery and my kids are left with no mummy just because of my own vanity :-( does anyone know any statistics on really bad things happening during surgery? are you other mummies feeling like this before surgery? some days i'm thinking i shouldn't even bother with it and should just be happy i have 3 beautiful daughters. but then at the same time i'm only 29 and i want a nice stomach again.. my stomach is all i think about :-( also, my 30th is in april, would you do it before then or should i wait until after so i can feel fine for my birthday?

What Jolzbaby has said here seems pretty good advice staceymjm... i too have been contemplating cosmetic surgeries of different sorts for years... i too am a mum of 4 kiddies, and have the battle scars on my body as a result and as much as i love my kids deeply i also miss that special something i had when i felt good about my body, i've always have had a pretty good outlook on life and trust me - it sooo gets better with age .. i too have come to a place (i'm 36) where i'm ok with the risks involved... i plan to eat healthy and exercise before and after to prepare recovery at its optimum... the penny dropped only just the other day really when i was preparing for a juice-cleanse fast upon giving up the ciggies... and contemplating a new, healthy future... and as i've just completed anatomy recently at uni it got me wondering about my body... i was thinking about being in my later years like 60yr+ that it dawned on me that the seperated muscles in my abdomen and all the stretched skin caused from the 4 babies carried will be my worse enemy in the state they are currently in and would not be able to provide strength and stabilty to my back that i would like to have to be an active person ..so to myself i can personally justify this procedure with no regrets as it make sense to me to do it, and i'm fortunate to have the support of my kids and family throughout my journey too ... but perhaps Jolzbaby has a point, you may just not be ready yet for surgery...best recoveries are made when the spirit is confident and optimistic about the outcome when you are happy with your decision i think, wish you all the best with the future, hope it all works out for the best, cheers

Thalz

Link to post
Share on other sites

Welcome Stacey, you sound pretty much like me before my TT surgery. My last baby was just over 10 pounds, tore through my tummy muscles and caused 2 small hernias. And still looked pregnant 4 years later :-( My pregnant looking stomach was constantly on my mind. My husband was extremely worried about having such major surgery but I convinced him it was no riskier than any other. I waited until my youngest was able to cope without me picking him up & relying on me so much. He was a hard to settle baby & toddler & very clingy and is only starting to be more independent. Having my TT in October last year is the best thing I've done, and don't feel guilty at all. I believe we've earned it! As for you birthday timing, allow a good 3 - 6 weeks to feel anything close to "normal". Read through some old threads, there are loads of good surgery experience stories & advice. All the best :-)

Link to post
Share on other sites

I TOTALLY agree with what Sydneymum said! I too went through these emotions.....I had twins second time around and as I am a little person (petite) I had a serious separation with my stomach muscles (35mm). Im a personal trainer and found it hard to shift my stomach weight. I spent most of the first 5 years after having my boys (I had ALL boys! Yes I am TOTALLY outnumbered in my house! My eldest is now 13 and my twins are 8), I spent the entire time trying to get the weight off my stomach THEN I had to just accept that no matter how much exercise I did I couldnt get it off........my seperation had caused my back to ache too.......every day I looked at my stomach as though it wasnt part of me......i felt totally depressed by it. My husband was amazing and supportive. He said he loved me even with my stomach that I hated. BUT I never felt completed. I felt a little like I had worked SO hard WHY wasnt my stomach flat? WHY did I look pregnant all the time and WHY could the weight not shift? Looking back I disliked myself SO much I hated seeing these woman on the tv showing off there tummys........I felt guilty for the first few years for wanting a TT THEN at year 8 I finally decided to put ME first. Thing is, yes there are risks, yes you are mostly doing it for you BUT do you want to look back at your life and regret never getting it done? My Mum has spent years HATING her stomach (she had my sister who was HUGE to carry), and I didnt want that for myself. DONT feel guilty for putting your oxygen mask on first, fact is I am SOOOO much happier now than before I had the TT ( I am 6 weeks post op) that I have been in years.......I see the girls on tv now and think hhmmm I wonder where I can get what she is wearing! LOL I agree we have SO earnt it! GOOD LUCK, the only thing you have to feel bad about is not doing it sooner!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

You're right, if i don't do it now, i will regret it! so, i have booked in for another consultation! I go in March! i'm so excited now. I have spoken to a few people and i am feeling better about this.

I get depressed about my stomach as well, it's ALWAYS on my mind. i used to have a great body and to be like this now is so depressing

:( even though my daughters are worth all this, its good that we can fix it! That is great that you are now happy with your stomach!! how long did it take for you to be able to get up & walk? and also to start doing things around the house again? and Thank you for your supportive words :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, had my TT 12 months ago, and yes it was the best thing I ever did. Yes I had the same scary thoughts about not making it, but the risks are very small. I love my new flat tummy and the fact I can wear shorts/skirts/pants without having to tuck my belly in!! And now wearing a swim suit....it's great (particularly since I've had my BA now too! ;))

I was in hospital for 2 nights, up and walking (in a fashion) 1 days post op. Sounds like most ladies go home 5 -7 days post op though. Was standing straight around 10 days post op, but it took a good 2 months to be anything like feeling back to normal energy wise. Definitely shop around, read reviews, there are the odd dodgy surgeon about! Get 2 or 3 different opinions and quotes, each surgeon likes to do TT their particular way. My surgeon was very reasonable, in the end I was around $5 500 out of pocket (after medicare and private health and tax rebates). Bare in mind, if you decide to post pone as you aren't quite ready, to get the medicare rebates, you need to do it before your last child is 7. I've sent you a FR to see my pics

Good luck, HTH

chacah

Link to post
Share on other sites

I am at week 8 post op :o) It took a good 2 weeks to start standing straight :o) I still stretch out every afternoon and evening on a wall because by the night time I still hunch a little......I absolutely cannot tell you how amazing you will feel-I do the same I look at my 3 boys and think how worth it they all are (especially my twins-I feel like I got a bonus amazing child instead of 1 I got 2 amazing different children!). My husband stressed to me that this was for ME and I should enjoy it (well the first 3 days I didnt as I reacted to one of the drugs they gave me and threw up a lot! To be honest it hurt like crazy BUT when I saw my flat belly in the mirror the next morning when they bathed me OMG I was SUPER happy I almost cried!). My only other advice is to walk as soon as you can and walk ALOT because it will help with clotting (so you dont get clots) AND it will make you feel ALOT better faster (well I think so anyway! My surgeon wanted me up and about the next day!). Walking will make you feel human again too :o) Housework wise I was about week 4 when I started loading the washing machine again! LOL I got my eldest to carry the load out though and hang them on the line! LOL I love that my children are older and able to help! My 8 year old twins made me lots of cups of tea they were very sweet :o) GOOD LUCK :o) It is SOOOO exciting! Once you see your tummy you will be like me and feel like "you" again! :o)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...

Hi Stacey!

I have just recently had a Tummy Tuc & Breast Augmentation in Thailand. At 48 & and single parent, I just went for it after wanting this done for over 10 years now. My hubby at the time always promised me this surgery, but never delivered & was Always about what He wanted! I left him nearly 4 years ago now, and decided its about me this year and a New Body that i have Always wanted for such a long time. I needed to feel Good about myself & stop Hating the way I looked!

If some thing should have happened to me, then this is part of life. Some times things can go wrong with any type of surgery!

So, I did this for ME and im glad I did as im so Very Happy with my results! Cost me ALL up with TT, BA, Flights, Accommodation, Every thing, $12K .. Try & beat that in Ozzie ;)

Yes you do here of the odd thing going wrong, but then some laies are over doing it and Not listening to the advice of the doctors!

Message me & you can join my Private Group Page on Face Book with over 200 ladies heading off to Thailand for surgery this year. You can ask questions on there, see helpful info and even some before & afters pics!

Do it for YOU. Your Only young once and life Once too! :D

Go girl I say

Hazel :)

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi staceymjm. I think all these feelings are normal. I'm feeling exactly the same way. I'm booked in for TT and BA and lift and feel very guilty about this. I'm terrified of being butchered , infections complications etc putting my family at risk. I also feel guilty for making husband take a/l to help out. From what I understand we will feel great in about 2 months hence happy mum then happy family. It really is only a short time in perspective. I think we should trust our surgeons and try to relax and think of the outcome.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Stacey,

I struggled a little at first with the perception that having a TT was vain or an indulgence. My twins are 2.5 and eldest is 4.5 and the separation and sagginess seems to be getting worse. I am slim and tall, and have enjoyed being fit and strong in the past, but unless I get these abs back together I will not be able to regain core strength. Getting older without being able to exercise, having chronic back ache, not being able to wear a t'shirt, not be asked if pregnant, is not the future I want for myself or my kids. I used to be able to get dressed each morning and effortlessly wear any clothes (size 10, classic 'column' figure) so I am not enjoying the daily pile up of clothes that can't be worn because of the belly. Not to mention having to wear support undies- the ones up to the boobs - in summer. The damage pregnancy did to my belly still causes physical discomfort.

Right now I have absolutely no trouble justifying the op. - it's reconstructive surgery. Good luck with your decision making Stacey. I agree with sydneymum - check out the threads here and you'll see a bunch of real people getting their bodies functional again.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 4 weeks later...

Thank you all so much for your help, i have decided to go through with this!! im excited and nervous! ive had 2 consultations with different sydney dr's but i have decided that i will go with dr piyapas in thailand. i have just sent them my first email and they replied so quickly! i have to send photos through :)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, i think you should do it when you're ready. You'll know when this is, as you'll find a plastic surgeon (not a cosmetic surgeon) that you are comfortable with and has given you all the reassurance you need. I did some research about PSs in my region for TT. I got advice to find someone who does a lot of the procedure, and who gives thorough info about the procedure, and post op expectations. I didn't look into going OS. I went to a cosmetic surgeon first (wrong) then 2 diff PS.The quote for both was very similar, w total out of pocket about 11K. I did half joke about dying on the operating theatre but there's prob as great a risk driving on the freeway at holiday time.

if you have the separation as I did, and hernia, I can recommend that if you have the means and the support of your family (most important as you'll need help) then do it! A hernia won't get better over time either- I found mine seemed to get worse. I've said before in this forum that its not all about vanity at all its about functionality, and if it makes you feel and look better, then that's great too. I was getting pretty sick of wearing support undies to hold it all in, and try (unsuccessfully) to not look pregnant by wearing flowing tops etc it was getting me down. The most important factor for me was wanting to be able to exercise, play with my 3 girls (almost 5, b 10lb and twins 2.5, b 7lb each) and to be able to dress without hassle. And for a future without backache and weight gain from having no core strength.

Before i was sure about the TT, i also needed to be certain I couldn't fix it with Pilates, osteo, physio etc.

Good luck with the research and deliberations Stacey!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...