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Jordierose

Feeling really down :(

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Hey guys

So as some of you know (because I've posted about it a few times) that I've had my BA booked in since February with Dr Poomee in Thailand for November.

I've lost count of the amount of hours I've spent researching the whole procedure.

So my boyfriend has always been the whole "you don't need it.. You're fine the way you are"... "What happens if this goes wrong or this or this" and ugh he doesn't understand but he is slowly supporting me because he knows how badly I want it.

Last night he spoke to a girl who unfortunately had trouble with her breast tissue which resulted in her deciding to have it removed and had breast implants. She unfortunately wasn't happy with it and has had 2 surgeries since.

Then he lectured me for a long time about it and now his whole idea is that I'm going to do the same as her and ruin what I have now. It's just so hard to keep positive and excited when the person you love and want to support you is bringing you down.

I'm sorry I just needed to vent to positive people and I thought who better to come too then the people that share my excitement!

Any positive things to help me out of this down mess? I seriously appreciate it so much x

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Please remember this is your body and your decision. Your partner may or not be around in the coming years. It is good to include him in the process but not the decision making. You do what you feel is best.

Only 25 days until your new b :) :) bies

 

I agree 100% - your body, your decision! You have to do what you want to do - it's lovely that your boyfriend is concerned, but you can't change your mind to please him. This is something you have wanted to do for years, and if you don't go ahead you may end up regretting it and resenting him later.

 

I think we are all completely aware that there is risk involved, but to be honest, that goes for anything in life. Nothing ventured nothing gained, I say! We have one life, we may as well live it the way that we want to. 

 

Not long to go hun - for both of us! I am a bit nervous, but also very excited! Yay to new boobies!! :D

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Hi Jordierose, it's such a shame you have to go through this so close to your surgery - I get it because my husband has been the same.

All, they are fine as they are, I don't like big boobs, what happens if they are worse? He was even emailing me daily with pictures of famous flat chested women. "See, Keira Knightley has no boobs". "Jessie J is flat".

It is hard to maintain excitement in the face of that but I have. And I still come home and tell/show him all the new things - even if he shows zero percent interest haha. He's come around now and just accepted it's happening and even seems to be getting somewhat (dare I say it) excited but it took time.

My theory when he was utterly against it and I was utterly going to do it, was that it's my body. I'm the one who has to live with what I have now and what I will have. Possible complications and all. I also stayed incredibly positive. I looked at clothes I would soon be able to wear, bikinis I would able to fill and then I started all the fun stuff. Like planning for my recovery, which sounds weird but I'm excited about that part too. Basically I thought of everything I was going to get out of the decision and was so freakin pleased with it, not even hubby downer could bring me down hahaha.

So I say absolutely be excited, be pumped, be ready in 25 days to have the fabulous new ta ta's you've always wanted. I bet you won't hear him complaining when he gets to see them!

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Not a single regret! Hiccups can happen with any surgery! If you meet that random person who had their tonsils out you'll find a bad story!!!!

Research research research. When you have confidence in your surgeon you'll be fine. Step up and tell your man you're doing this for you and he can be supportive and trust you know what's best for you.

You will regret it for the first few days when you're in pain but when they settle it will be the best decision you've made!

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I did the same as you Jordierose and researched for a very long time about having a BA. When I brought home all the literature about having a BA - good and bad/complications -  from the first PS I saw, my husband read it all and then told me he didn't want me getting it done as too much can go wrong. While I respected his decision, I didn't feel happy or good about myself. I had breastfed 3 kids in 5 years and my breasts were an AA cup. Finally after researching and having a few consults with different PS, I decided to have my BA in Sept this year. My husband was supportive about my decision but I knew he was also worried for me. Everything went very well with the BA and my surgeon Dr. Harwood in Brisbane was just great!

 

It sounds like your boyfriend is just scared and worried for you. It is good he cares and loves you enough to speak up about his views on you having a BA. But, it is your body at the end of the day. As long as  you have a great surgeon and feel comfortable with him, then everything will be fine. Hopefully in time your boyfriend will see the positive effect your BA will have on  you. All the best for your journey.

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Omg Jordierose, we are in the exact same position, and I'm in 24 days too :-( my boyfriends all like 'why do you even need it?' 'Its just stupid' and he think like only strippers ect get 'fake' tits. Haha it sounds so stupid but then I feel like what happens if something goes wrong, (he's always the one saying 'SEEE I told you so, or I told you not too' ahhhhhhhh

My head is like this ifjajdgaiskbsjsixhf

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Yeppp! exactly the same, they don't understand/care that it is for us and our confidence and how we feel

 

it sucks and brings me down that he doesn't support me

 

I would support anything he decided to do.

 

 JKLgfh sjdhgfjskhdgf kjah ugh!

 

Haha sorry just taking my anger out on the keyboard!

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We all at some stage have second thoughts/ fears about our bas and it makes it worse when you have someone unsupportive around feeding those doubts and fears.

I went through the same thing with my hubby.

If this is what you truly want, then just do it and ignore his unsupportivness, he's doing it out of concern for you, and sometimes our partners worry about us more than we do about ourselves, but if you've selected an experienced and well reputed PS then you need not worry.

Chances of things going wrong etc are SO slim, you will be in very good hands so don't worry yourself sick about it because of the thoughts/ideas your partner has put in your head hun.

Once you've had your ba you will be over the moon with your new boobies, so please try and focus on that instead of all the 'what ifs'.

Good luck hun xoxo

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Hi, I had mine done just under 2 weeks ago. My boyfriend has had many concerns leading up to it but has been incredibly supportive too. I agree with the other girls that this needs to be your decision and not anyone else's.

But on the other hand Ive realised it takes a lot out of our partners too, I relied on my boyfriend so much and honestly couldn't have done it without him. It has been quite emotional for me and therefor hard on him. This could be your boyfriends way of worrying and freaking out but once he realises it is definitely happening, he will most likely your rock!

All the best  :)

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I am freaking out a little about something not going right, I also have young children so have to rely on my husband and others to help me out a lot. But overall I am excited about it and that I will finally have boobies. I am lucky my husband is sharing in my excitement and when I get worried about our kids n them needing me he tells me they will be fine he can deal with them

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I tell you my husband isn't always the most supportive or in tune with my feelings but he has been really good about this he has told me right from the start it's completely my decision. So for once he is actually the good guy, but the things that he has said to me are completely right

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You just have to remember your living not existing .

I have three kids and I know the risk associated with any major op but I still choose to get my boobs done just like ppl choose to work jobs that can harm them or jump out of a plane

We all have our own wants, dreams and hurdles, just gotta do what makes you happy and hope that when you come out the other side your love ones understand

Once it's all over I'm sure he will be more than happy with your choice ;)

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Please remember this is your body and your decision. Your partner may or not be around in the coming years. It is good to include him in the process but not the decision making. You do what you feel is best.

Only 25 days until your new b :) :) bies

Agree with this completely, My husband was very supportive about my decision to get this done but to date he has not met my surgeon nor been to any consults, I used him as someone to chat to about it and discuss what outcome I wanted but he was not a part of this in many other ways because its my body and my decision. You have to go within your own limits not his.

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I'm so glad to hear that Twinkles - luckyyy! ahha

 

 

You just have to remember your living not existing .
I have three kids and I know the risk associated with any major op but I still choose to get my boobs done just like ppl choose to work jobs that can harm them or jump out of a plane
We all have our own wants, dreams and hurdles, just gotta do what makes you happy and hope that when you come out the other side your love ones understand
Once it's all over I'm sure he will be more than happy with your choice ;)

Very true!! I'm sure i will be too :) thanks so much!!

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Agree with this completely, My husband was very supportive about my decision to get this done but to date he has not met my surgeon nor been to any consults, I used him as someone to chat to about it and discuss what outcome I wanted but he was not a part of this in many other ways because its my body and my decision. You have to go within your own limits not his.

It's great he was so supportive! Thanks so much hun, x

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My husband came to my initial consult and measure/sizing, I just wanted him to hear exactly what I was going to be going through and what I wouldn't be able to do after the surgery. But I went back to resize again after the initial consult on my own as I wanted bigger, which he doesn't care what size I decide on as it is my body (but truth be told I think he got a little excited when I told him I went bigger) I think he is playing it so cool as he doesn't want to scare me out of it as he knows how much I want it and am excited about it (just not the recovery part  :( although they told me that the ladies who really want it deal with the recovery well)

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